Movie shorts
skew * seven * movie shorts by Scott Snyder

An interesting shift has taken place over the years, concerning the placement of credits in the movies. The "crawl," as it's known - when the credits scoot up the screen as you're backing down the aisle - is a relatively new invention. Back in the '50s and before, all the credits were front-loaded, presumably so that movie-goers would know right from the get-go who the key grip and his crones were. After a while, it occurred to producers that movie-goers probably don't give a damn. Then the big names got the big typeface at the beginning of the movie, and everybody else had to wait until we were too pre-occupied with peeling our sneakers off the floor to pay much attention.

Lately, all the credits have been coming at the end of the movie - even the director's and stars' names. I think this reflects a shift away from literacy in our culture. What do you read, my lord? Words, words, words, as Hamlet put it. We're beyond all that! Give us the pictures!


Reading credits fast is an important skill for people who review movies - especially for people who review for tiny little magazines that don't get the promotional kits. Generally, I enjoy the challenge. I find, though, that I have conflicting desires to meet, as I like to sit up close, really let them stick my nose in the action. But when you're fifteen feet away from a thirty-foot screen, it gets difficult to read all those words as they go by. I've been leaving the movies with headaches.

Next time I go to a movie, I think I'll sit in the third row for the film, then run back to the back of the theater for the credits. I only hope I can peel my sneakers off the floor fast enough to catch them all.


Next time you rent a movie, may I humbly suggest that you ask for a little gem from the '70s called The President's Analyst. If you've ever felt paranoid, and have suspected that everyone else is feeling paranoid too, this movie will vindicate your suspicions. If you haven't felt this way, but you think you might like to, well then so much the better.

James Coburn stars, and he goes nuts pretty effectively. One-hit wonder Barry McGuire, of "Eve of Destruction" fame, also appears, which is kind of a thrill. The real treat here, though, is Analyst's depiction of the telephone company - known simply as The Phone Company (or TPC, for short). You'll check your phones carefully after the movie. It's not Ma Bell we're dealing with here; it's Big Brother Bell.


If you have a choice of theaters the next time you go to the movies, choose AMC - not because they're better, but because they've released the latest installment in the Adventures of Film Guy. Film Guy is, of course, the animated AMC mascot, a jaunty, cavalier fellow made of celluloid, who rides around on his pet film reel. In this episode, he gets to drink coke from a giant straw.

Film Guy is cool.


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