Blockbuster Video is the only place I will rent movies. They have the best selection, the best prices, and the best locations in town. This is because they have run pretty much everybody else out of business.

Blockbuster actually does have a pretty good selection. However, finding things there is nigh unto impossible, because someone there has a classification fetish. You would think that Linnĉus himself was a Blockbuster employee. Used to be, they had new releases along the walls, and all the other movies were either comedies, dramas, foreign, or horror films. This setup was eminently browsable. You could decide quickly which category contained the movie you were seeking. If you were simply in the mood for a comedy, that's where you went.

No more.

I was looking for Breakfast at Tiffany's at Blockbuster yesterday. In the time it took me to find it, I could've flown to New York, taken a cab to the jewelry store, persuaded someone to bring me a bagel, and eaten breakfast at Tiffany's. It was not in the Classics section. It wasn't in the Comedy section, nor in Drama. "I don't know," the helpful Blockbuster employee told me when I asked after it.

It wasn't in the Romantic Comedy section. I had eliminated, a priori, the Wild Comedy, Sci Fi, Mystery, Horror, Western, Foreign Films, Family Favorites, For Kids, Action, Suspense, Slasher, and Martial Arts sections; now I wasn't so sure. Was there a karate scene that I had forgotten, perhaps involving Mr. Yunioshi? Had there been a UFO, humming out "Moon River," Close-Encounters-style?

I discovered that there were specific sections for individual actors. But Breakfast at Tiffany's wasn't in the Audrey Hepburn section, and there was no George Peppard section. I looked around for a section devoted to movies that featured former Beverly Hillbillies stars in supporting roles.

I finally found Breakfast at Tiffany's in the Employee Recommendations section. I was so pleased to learn that Barry (whoever he is) had enjoyed it.