Movie shorts
by Scott Snyder
An avid moviegoer, who is by no means a Star Trek fanatic, said that he had
seen Star Trek: Generations and was unimpressed. The story, he said, was
flimsy, the character development half-baked, the focus on gimmickry rather
than on story. But, he said, he understood why the Star Trek subculture, if
you will, was so pleased with the film. "It's like family, I imagine," he
said. "You don't criticize the little foibles of your family members. You're
just happy to see them again."
****************
On a related note, there seems a certain irony in the casting of the
mamby-pamby post-Kirk Enterprise captain in Star Trek: Generations.
Alongside Star Fleet legends there stands the geeky sidekick from Ferris
Buehler's Day Off, and one can't help wondering whether he will get hell
from his dad when he brings the Enterprise home with a hole in the forward
hull.
****************
I suspect that at some point I may tire of hip, cheaply-produced movies
aimed at My Generation (whatever that is), but in the mean time, I look
forward to seeing Clerks, the black-and-white (how trendily impoverished)
debut of writer-director Kevin Smith. This movie holds the distinction of
being the first to receive an X/NC-17 rating strictly on the basis of its
language. Mr. Bowlder would be pleased.
****************
Be wary of giving boxes of chocolates to your friends for Christmas this year.
They may think that you are making an allusion to Forrest Gump. Worse yet, they
may think that you liked Forrest Gump.
****************
Mary Shelley's Frankenstein also is come and gone; Mr. DeNiro's makeup job was
insufficient to save it from the fate it deserved. I hope that I never have to
see anyone rip Helena Bonham-Carter's heart from her rib cage again. The Boris
Karloff version was a total subversion of everything the original Shelley story
was meant to be - and then again it wasn't. It's a scary story, for heaven's
sake - early pulp sci-fi. She just threw the Treatise on Responsibility
aspect in there to win Percy's favor. At least, that's what I think. Go,
Boris.
****************
The Lion King is back for the holidays. Take your youngest friends and
relatives to go see it. You'll laugh, you'll cry - it's designed that way.
Then take your youngest friends and relatives home again, and, so they
aren't confused for life, explain to them that "the law of the jungle" is
not a sufficient explanation for why small furry animals are just tickled
to spend quality time in the company of their predators.
****************
The Little Rascals currently resides in the one-dollar movie theaters, where it
is being shown to another twelve movie-goers. Most of the original twelve were
family members. I wonder whether Long John Silver's made any money on the
drink glass tie-ins.